A Changed Viewpoint

I have been trying to think about how to put all of the ideas that are swirling around in my head on paper without alienating or offending anyone yet still getting my point across.  Joey and I started the foster care journey after a private adoption fell through in January 2015.  It was devastating.  We looked into fostering in the spring of 2015, but the agency we would end up getting licensed with later made it very clear that the goal of foster care is reunification.  We were told that if we could not support reunification and were not willing to see the children in our care leave our home, then fostering was not a good choice for us.  We took this to heart.  At that time, while we were still grieving the loss of the child we did not get to meet and bring home, we were not ready to let anymore children go.  It took a full year before we were ready to take that next step.  In early 2016, we were ready to say that we were okay with children not staying in our home forever, and our foster care journey began.  Most of the children we had were on a path to reunify.  Our first little boy that we had reunified with his family after almost 10 months with us.  I share all of this as a backstory to where we are now.  

Joey and I closed out our foster license in July.  It was not an easy decision.  We are a year into battling to try to become kinship caregivers to a former foster daughter that we brought home from the hospital when she was 2 days old and loved as our own until her biological dad got to take her home when she was 2 months old.  After she reunified with her dad, we were able to stay a part of her life...weekend visits and holiday and birthday celebrations.  She and her dad became family to us.  

We have been walking with her dad through this process, and we have been able to witness the DSS experience from the biological family point of view.  It has been eye opening and discouraging.  We have been treated as unfit parents and have seen the facts of the case be manipulated and changed to fit the plan that DSS has for our former foster daughter.  It has given me a fire to fight for biological families and kinship caregivers.  The system needs change in a big way.

I mentioned in my previous post that I now have a huge desire to find ways to advocate for biological families and kinship caregivers.  Because of our experience over this last year and what we saw as foster parents over the last 4 years, we have realized that the odds are stacked against the biological families from the start.  

If biological families had the resources and networks that foster parents have, I believe that there would be a lot more children returning to their biological homes.  Sadly, there is very little out there for biological families as they try to complete their plans.  There are very few support groups.  I have previously mentioned Moms Matter through Fostering Great Ideas.  This is a wonderful program that provides support for moms who are working to get their children back.  There needs to be more programs like this.  Without these type of programs, there is very little guidance or assistance in getting suitable housing, jobs, counseling, or education.  There is very little to no assistance in navigating the legal system and knowing their rights. 

Biological parents who have their children placed in foster care are not villains.  Let me repeat that - they are not villains.  Many come from a cycle of addiction, mental illness, or neglect.  We have had the privilege of getting to know most of the biological parents of the children we have had in our care as foster parents.  These parents love their kids.  These parents want to be with their kids.  Most of them work to complete the plans set before them by DSS.  Very few of them have a strong support system of family and friends to help them.  There in lies the issue that I see as a roadblock in getting their children back.  I have an amazing support system of friends and family to lean on.  I think a lot of us do, and we take it for granted.  It really does take a village, and these biological families need a village.  They need people to walk beside them, encourage them, help them through the discouraging times, and just be there to listen.  We have had the opportunity to do that with the biological dad of our sweet former foster daughter.  It has been such a blessing for us to get to walk beside him.  We love him dearly.  

The other thought that I believe strongly is that foster parents need to support reunification.  I encourage foster parents to get to know the biological families.  It can be life changing for everyone involved.  There have been several times in the reunification process with different foster children that we have had in our home where if we would have given negative feedback to DSS about our interaction with biological families, it could have meant that they did not get to take their children home.  Let that sink in.  Foster families have a huge say in what happens with the foster child.  I have seen quite a few foster families who want to adopt and do all they can to prevent reunification.  Yes, they fight to prevent reunification.  Sometimes reunification is not in the child's best interest, but when it is, foster families should not try to hinder it.  I have seen a lot of judgment from foster families and caseworkers towards biological families.  I started out in our foster care journey with the same judgments.  But I have a changed viewpoint now.  By the grace of God, I am not in a situation where my children are in foster care.  If I was, I would hope that people would give me grace and treat me with dignity.  Sadly, this is not the reality for many biological parents trying to get their children back.  

Adoption is a necessary conclusion at times in foster care, but it should be the very last option.  When adoption happens, the biological family is forever cut off from that child and the child from their family.  The child can search for them when that child turns 18, but until then, there is no connection.  Research shows that this is damaging for children.  Private adoptions encourage open adoptions now.  Adoptions from foster care do not.  This is something that I think needs to change.  Even if biological parents are not able to bring their children home, should they be forever cut off?  

I encourage you to put yourself in the shoes of a parent whose child has been placed in foster care.  Try to imagine the torment they must feel.  The fear they must feel over the thought of losing their child forever.  The reality of not being able to see their child except for a few supervised hours a month.  Being told that reunification is the plan when DSS plans all along to terminate rights and have the child adopted (this has been what we have seen quite often).  

I have heard so often people say, "I could never foster.  I would get too attached.  It would be too hard to let them go."  It can be hard to say goodbye, but it is also joyful to see a child return to the family they love and miss.  We have had so many wonderful friends and family love on us after we have said goodbye, and that is an amazing thing.  What I encourage people to do is also think about what it must be like for a biological parent to have to say goodbye when their rights are terminated.  They get a "last visit" after that happens to say goodbye.  Can you imagine how gut wrenching and hard that is for the parent and child?  I see very little sorrow or compassion towards the parents who face this.  There are some that do some horrible things and do not need to be around their children because they are dangerous and abusive.  Yes, there are definitely cases like that.  But I think a majority of the parents whose children end up in foster care do not fit that description.  They may have addictions or their own trauma that they need to overcome.  They may have neglected their children without intending to - raising their kids the same way they did because they do not know another way.  I think the majority need guidance, assistance, education, and understanding.  

The foster care system needs a major overhaul.  I cannot stress that enough.  It starts with individuals.  It starts with getting involved.  I believe my viewpoint has changed because I got to know these families.  They are not just names and stories to me anymore.  They are real people with real feelings.  They need love and support, and it starts with us.  It starts with me.  

Looking Ahead

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything on this blog.  We have been on the foster care journey now for over 4 years.  We have had 6 foster children come into our home during that time. 

Our first little boy was four years old, and he was with us for 10 months before he reunified with his family.  Our next placements were a sibling pair, a 2 year old boy and a 15 month old girl, that we had for a little over 3 weeks before they went on to live with an aunt and uncle.  Our next placement was a 4 year old boy who we had for 15 months.  His 7 year old sister joined us for 4 months before they moved on to another foster family last year.  We also had a little newborn girl for 2 months before she reunified with her dad.

Our foster care journey has been very rough at times but has also included some great moments.  I think the most surprising and rewarding part of fostering for me has been building relationships with the biological families of the children we have had in our home.  We were able to do that with the mom and aunt of the first little boy we had.  Reunification was the plan from the start for him so we worked to connect with the family.  He had to have a minor medical procedure done during the time he was with us, and we had his mom and aunt at the doctor's office with us on that day.  We also texted and sent photos regularly to his mom.  The family was very appreciative of us being willing to communicate with them.

With the most recent siblings we had, toward the end of their stay with us, we began communicating with their mom.  She came to our home on Mother's Day weekend last year to see her kids.  I spoke with her on the phone several times, and I texted her photos. 

With the little newborn we had for the first two months of her life, we knew right away that reunification with her father was the goal so we immediately started communicating with him.  It started with meeting him for lunch at a local restaurant, sending texts and photos, and quickly led to him coming to our home on Saturdays and spending large chunks of time holding his daughter, feeding her, and just being with her.  By reaching out to him and starting that communication, we were able to get to know him.  Once he was reunified with his daughter, he graciously allowed us to continue to have visits with her.  She would come to our home on the weekends pretty regularly.  We have continued to stay in communication with her dad, and we have become an "aunt" and "uncle" to her.  They have both become family to us.  We love them dearly.

The last 2 years of fostering have been very difficult for us and our biological kids so we are pretty sure we will not be continuing on this journey.  We have a desire once our children are a little bit older to adopt a child out of foster care who is waiting to be adopted.  There are websites you can go to that are full of children waiting to be adopted.  Many of these children are older and have been waiting for a long time.  It is heartbreaking to say the least.

One desire and goal that has grown out of this foster care journey is to find a way to help biological parents in reunifying with their kids.  There is a lot of support out there for foster parents, but from our experience, there is not much available to help biological parents work to bring their kids home.  Care2Foster is an organization that has a support group called Moms Matter that assists birth mothers who have lost custody of their children.  It is a wonderful program, but these type of programs are far and few between, and I have not seen anything for birth fathers.  More support groups and programs are needed to come alongside birth families. 

In our experience with journeying alongside the father of the sweet newborn we had, birth parents need encouragement and hope to keep going and to not give up on the goal of getting their children back.  They need people willing to advocate for them and walk alongside them through court dates, family group meetings, and all of the other things involved in working their plans and reunifying with their children.  I truly believe that if birth parents had more people to advocate for them, there would be more foster children returning to their birth families.

I plan to share more as I start delving into this world of advocating for birth families.  As I look back over the last 4 years, it is truly amazing how things work out.  We got into foster care hoping to adopt eventually.  Now we are coming out of it hoping to help birth parents reunify with their children. 

7 Months In...

On Friday, we will have had our foster son for 7 months.  What an interesting 7 months it has been!  He is our first placement since becoming licensed as foster parents last year, and it has been a growing experience for us all.  We are reminded daily of the comfort and ease we had before in raising only our own children, and we often think back to how "easy" it was (it's all perspective, isn't it?).  However, we don't regret taking our foster son in, and we don't plan on him being our one and only placement.  When he moves on from our home, we plan to welcome another child or children in. 

Being a foster parent is in no way easy. It has stretched Joey and me in so many ways, shown us how impatient and selfish we can be, and made us appreciate what we have.  It has made me realize how much I take for granted with my own kids and the life that we have.  It is a constant reminder to not judge others and to realize that by God's grace only, we are not in a different place. 

Our foster son is way behind developmentally, and that has probably been one of the most difficult parts of the adjustment to having him with us.  He is the same age as Gus, but that is where the similarities with where the two of them are ends.  We have constant therapies, doctor appointments, education appointments, dental appointments.  There is so much that needs to be done to get him where he needs to be.  The encouraging part of it all is to see the progress he is making.  We look back to last August when he came to us and see where he is now, and it is amazing.  But the discouragement can still set in at times...after visits with family, when we are in the midst of the red tape of the system, when we are trying to get someone to advocate for him and we feel like we are the only ones who are.  It is a road with many ups and downs. 

However, we have no doubt that this is the road we are supposed to be on.  Foster parents are so needed.  There are so many children out there who need a home and people to love them when their own families can't, whether it's temporarily or permanently.  For us, we know we will have our foster son for a time, but he will eventually leave us.  We are doing what we can for him while we have him, and the rest we give to God and trust that He has him.  It's easy to worry about the "what ifs" and whether or not our little guy will be able to overcome the obstacles he faces and be able to be successful in life. We have no control over that and will not know what happens to him once he leaves us.  That is hard, but we are called to love him and care for him now, and that is what we are trying to do.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing a great job and other times we feel like we are failing miserably.  Like I said, it is a road of ups and downs.

 

Gus has had mixed reactions to having a foster brother.  Initially, sharing his toys and his room was a difficult thing to get used to, but now he enjoys having someone to play with.  Overall, they get along well (and fight like siblings do).  We have had many changes in the last 7 months  besides our foster son coming to live with us - moving to a new house in October and welcoming our sweet baby Rayf to the family in November are just two of the big changes.  So it's hard to tell when Gus is struggling with his circumstances what the root cause actually is.  Likely, it is a combination of many factors.  Because our foster son has so many needs, he requires a lot of attention.  It has been difficult for us to try to provide him with what he needs and still give plenty of attention to Gus and Rayf.  We are learning as we go for sure, and Gus is learning with us.  There have definitely been "growing pains" involved for us all.   

 

So why do we do it?  Why do we plan to keep fostering when it is so hard?  I keep coming back to the same answer.   It's not about us.  It's not about our comfort.  It's not about our lives being easy.  It's not about our free time (or lack of).  It's about our foster son and the many others like him who need to be loved and cared for.  It's about our children learning that life is bigger than themselves and their problems.  It's about teaching them to love Jesus and love others.  It's about us learning that ourselves and living it out day in and day out.  We hope that eventually our story will have adoption as a part of it, but whether it does or not, we want to love our foster son and the others that follow the best that we can. 

An Unexpected Path

This blog is changing from an adoption journey blog to a foster care journey blog!  It's amazing how God uses circumstances in our lives to lead us to paths we never would have chosen on our own.  Some of the most devastating events in my life have led to wonderful blessings.  I feel like our becoming foster parents is one of those blessings. 

Joey and I headed down the private adoption road in early 2014.  We were matched with a birth mom later that year, and we expected to bring our son home in January 2015.  However, in late January, we found out that our son's birth mom had delivered him and decided to parent him herself.  It was heartbreaking for us to say the least.  We thought about starting the private adoption process again, but we decided against it.  We then discussed fostering with the hope of adopting.  We met with a Miracle Hill representative in March 2015 to ask questions and find out more about the process and requirements.  One of the main things he stressed to us at that meeting was that the goal of fostering is to reunite the child with their family if that is at all possible.  We looked honestly at where we were, and we decided that we weren't ready to become foster parents.  We couldn't say that we would hope that the child that was placed in our home would end up reuniting with their biological family.  We would want that child to stay with us forever.  So we took some time to grieve the failed adoption and to deal with another difficult situation we were faced with at that time.  Later in 2015, Joey and I revisited the idea of fostering.  We decided then that we would move forward with the licensing process in 2016 with our hope being that we would eventually be able to adopt.  We were willing to have children come and go and wait for children who would come stay because they needed a forever family. 

Early this year, we began the licensing process.  The same representative from Miracle Hill who had talked with us in 2015 is now our case worker. He walked us through the process.  There is a lot that goes into getting licensed to be foster parents...doctor visits, DHEC inspection, fire inspection, education classes, home study, background checks, and more.  Overall, it was a very smooth process for us and a positive experience.  I would recommend going through Miracle Hill to anyone thinking about being foster parents. 

The required education classes were a turning point for me, a beginning of me seeing my heart being changed in this path we were on.  The classes are aimed at showing the realities of being a foster parent.  We went through a lot of different case studies to look at what issues we might find ourselves encountering with the foster children who come into our home.  We learned and discussed ways to deal with the difficult situations and where to go for support.  After those two days of classes, I felt more than ever that we should continue down this path.  There are so many children in the foster care system who don't have homes to go to when they can't stay in their own.  We knew that fostering would not be easy, but we also knew it was what we were supposed to do.  I found my desires changing from fostering with the sole purpose of adopting to just fostering with no other reason added to it.  Joey and I started seeing fostering being a long term part of our family. 

We still hope to eventually adopt children through fostering that need a forever family.  However, that is not our reason for doing it now.  We hope to have fostering be a part of our lives for a very long time.  I hear two comments quite often when I explain that we are foster parents now.  The first is that it would be too hard to say goodbye and have to let go of the foster child when they left.  The second is concern over what fostering will do to the  biological children in the home.  I used to have the exact same comments myself, but that has changed since going through this process.  In answer to the first comment, I now tell people that it's not about us.  We don't foster because it's easy or comfortable or convenient.  We foster because we are called to take care of orphans.  Jesus never said that following Him would mean my life would be easy or comfortable, but He did promise to be with me through it.  So for us, it doesn't matter that it will be hard to say goodbye when that time comes.  We want to love our foster children with all that we have for as long as they are in our home.  We will grieve their leaving when that time comes.

In answer to the second comment, I tell people that fostering will do great things for our biological children.  We are trying to teach our children to love Jesus and love others.  What better way to teach them that than to live it out in our home from day to day with children who need a safe place to live and a family to love them?  In talking with other families who foster, I haven't had any parent tell me so far that fostering has affected their biological children negatively.  They daily get to see children who have far less than they do.  They get to make a difference in their foster siblings' lives.  They get to love on their foster siblings and learn to care for people outside the circle of their family and close friends.  My prayer for Claudia, Gus, and our little guy on the way is that being foster siblings will teach them empathy, compassion, and give them a heart for the less fortunate.  I hope that they will grow up realizing that life is not all about them but should be lived out loving and helping others. 

We got our first placement three weeks ago today.  He is a sweet 3 year old boy.  I will call him Smiley for this blog because the nickname suits him...he smiles a lot!  I won't say that everything has been happily ever after with Smiley coming into our home.  We now have two 3 year old boys in the house so we are adjusting to that.   We are finding our new normal and taking it day by day.  There have been some exhausting days.  We don't know how long we will have Smiley.  It's looking like it will be a long time, but we don't know for sure.  And that's okay.  We do hope that he will eventually get to return to his parents and siblings.  For now, he is a Goldsmith, and we will love him as if he was our own for the time he is with us.  We hope to be a blessing to him, and I have no doubt that he will bless our lives in ways we can't even imagine.  We are thankful for this new path we are on.  It's not comfortable or convenient, but I know it is where we are supposed to be.

Moving Forward and New Beginnings

It has been a while since I updated everyone on where we are. 

With the start of 2016 comes the hope of new beginnings.  Last year was so difficult for our family in so many ways.  We found out that we lost our little guy that we thought we would be adopting and that Claudia was moving to Virginia within a 15 minute period on January 26, 2015.  That was a very rough start to what would end up being one of the hardest years of my life so far.  We grieved our adoption falling through.  I still grieve it as we are coming up on the one year mark.  I think about what our little guy might be doing and pray that he and his birthmother are doing well.  We grieved Claudia moving to Virginia.  We have a new normal now.  It's not what we would choose, but it's our reality.  We experienced some huge financial difficulties because of the adoption falling through and Claudia moving to Virginia.  But we move forward.

With this new year, I am looking forward to new beginnings.  I am excited to see what 2016 holds for us, and I am hopeful that it will be an amazing year for our family. 

Last night, we met with a Miracle Hill representative and are beginning our journey to become licensed foster parents.  We plan to foster children under 3, preferably siblings.  We hope one day that there will be some kiddos in our home that need a forever family.  That is our plan right now.  It is both scary and exciting for me as we move forward.  There is a lot to get done in order to be able to submit our paperwork and wait approximately two months for our license to be approved.  So we are just beginning.  There is so much hope for me in this new beginning. 

January 1, 2015, I began my first full year as a loan officer at Hanover Mortgage.  It was a good first year for me.  I am thankful for my job, for the wonderful people I work with, for a great boss, and for the beginning of my second full year as a loan officer.  I have goals that I look forward to meeting this year.  In March 2015, Joey ended up going out on his own.  He is now self-employed!  He unexpectedly partnered with a friend last April and started a remodeling business.  It is going well, and I am excited to see where 2016 takes them in this new business. 

It's amazing how a new year can bring new hope, but it has for me.  Thank you to those who have prayed for us, been there for us, and loved us well through 2015.  We appreciate it so much!  I am so thankful for family and friends who stand beside us in both the good and bad times.  We could not do it without you. 

With much love,

Jen

Our plan as we move forward...

I've been dreading writing this post because it is really hard to do.  I still feel such sadness over our adoption falling through in January, and I think about what our little guy might be doing right now, how old he is, what stage of development he is in...I'm still grieving not getting to bring him home. 

Our home study expires this week, and after discussing it a lot, looking at our options, looking at the events of 2015 so far in our lives, and looking at what the rest of 2015 might be like, Joey and I have decided to not update our home study at this time.  It has been a really rough year for us so far, and we are still dealing with a difficult situation that changed some of our plans for this year, including updating our home study. 

So our plan as we move forward, since we both still really have a desire to adopt, is to wait until Gus is a little bit older and try to adopt through becoming foster parents.  We still want to adopt two children so if we could adopt siblings at one time, that would be wonderful.  If we need to adopt at different times, then we will do that, too.  I trust that if it's God's plan for us to adopt like we desire to do, then it will work out in His timing.  Right now, we don't think it's the right time.  Hopefully next year we can start the process to become licensed foster care parents.  I waited a long time for my amazing husband so I am hopeful that this time of waiting will only make adopting in the future that much more wonderful when it does happen.    

We would appreciate your continued prayers.  This decision has not been an easy one, and I feel very heartbroken about it, but Joey and I both think it's the right decision for right now.  

Once we begin the foster care licensing process, we will let you know so that you can be praying.  From talking with others who have been through it, there is a lot that goes into the process so it will take some time.  Our prayer is that once we are licensed and begin getting placements, God will bring children into our home that need a forever family.  Thank you to everyone who supported us through our adoption process last year and who continue to understand our grief over not getting to bring Baby Goldsmith home in January.  We are thankful for our friends and family who have been there with us through both the excitement and the sadness. 

Where We Are...

It's been a long time since I updated our blog.  To be honest, it's been a difficult last two months.  It's hard to even know what to write.  Finding out on January 26th that our little boy's birth mom had delivered him and had decided to keep him was not the beginning to 2015 that we had hoped for, planned for, nor anticipated.  The same morning that we found out  that we would not be bringing our little boy home, we also found out that Claudia would be moving to Virginia in March.  It felt like we lost two kids at the same time.  We trust that God has a plan in all of this and that the hurt will not be for nothing. 

We are continuing in our adoption journey and are currently waiting to be matched again.  The waiting is really difficult, and it seems to get harder for me the longer we wait.  I long for Gus to have a little brother or sister.  Actually, we hope that he will have both eventually. 

We hope that before 2015 is over, we will have another member to the Goldsmith family.  We hope to go from a family of 4 to a family of 5.  We just have to wait and see.  Once we are matched again, we will need to fundraise again because we lost a good portion of what we raised with the adoption falling through.  It's discouraging to say the least, but we both still desire so much to adopt so we are not ready to give up.

We would appreciate your prayers as we move forward.  I desire to be content where God has us, but that is oftentimes a struggle for me right now.  There are things to celebrate...the time that we do have with Claudia, our sweet Gus, Joey and I getting through tough times together, wonderful family and friends, a church that reminds us that Jesus has us.  

As I said when I started this update, it's hard to know what to write.  Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive to us during this difficult time.  We appreciate it so much!  Amidst the sorrow and grief, our friends and family have been such an encouragement to us.  So thank you! 

 

While We Wait...

It has been a while since we updated everyone on our adoption journey.  We are in the home stretch!  We have raised the money needed for our adoption thanks to many of you as well as some wonderful organizations that support adoption and award grants.  We are thankful the fundraising is complete.  Now we are waiting to get that call (in our case it will be a text message) saying it is time.  Joey and I will drop everything and head towards the hospital.

I have a bag packed and ready along with all of the things that I can think of that we might need for our travel back to Greenville with our little guy.  He is due January 23rd, and we can't wait to meet him! 

Please pray for our family as we wait.  The waiting is hard, and I think it will only get harder once we get the text from our little guy's birth mom saying that it is time.  I can only imagine that our time at the hospital will be a mixture of excitement, fear, nervousness, and exhaustion.  . 

This has been a surreal experience so far.  Overall, the adoption process for us has gone very smoothly.  I pray that it continues that way.  Sadly, we have had to let some relationships go as a result of our choosing this path, and that has been very difficult for us.  We are grieving those relationships but rejoicing in gaining a sweet little boy soon.  I can't wait to hold him for the first time!

We are SO thankful for the tremendous amount of support and encouragement we have received and continue to receive during this journey.  We look forward to introducing our little guy to you soon.  :)

Great Weekend Away :)

We had a wonderful weekend!  We took a trip in state to meet our baby's birth mom, and it was a fun time.  Claudia, Gus, Joey, and I enjoyed our time together so much.  Joey's mom went with us, as well, and it was so good to have her with us.  We had an enjoyable time playing in the sand and water on the beach on Saturday afternoon and a fun filled Saturday night at Medieval Times.  Going to Medieval Times was a first for all of us, and it did not disappoint. 

Joey and I had breakfast with our baby's birth mom this morning, and it went really well.  We are thankful to have had the opportunity to meet her in person and get to know her better.  She is an amazing person, and I admire her so much.  We look forward to continuing to get to know her.  I feel so honored that she chose Joey and me to raise her little boy.  We are so excited to meet him in two months!  Please pray for all involved as the time for our sweet boy's arrival draws closer.

Below are some photos from our weekend.  It was an encouraging weekend, and we are so thankful for the time away with family.  :)



We continue to fundraise for our final adoption expenses.  We have $1,500 left to raise so we are very close.  Thank you to everyone who has helped us get to this point.  It means so much! We are looking forward to introducing the newest member of our family to you when he arrives.  We appreciate your continued prayers for our little boy, for his birth mom, and for us. 

So close!

We are only about $2,000 away from raising the funds we need for our adoption! We need to have all of our adoption funds in by mid-December so that we can make our last payment to our agency.  It will be a huge relief to reach our goal and focus on our final preparations for our little boy's arrival in late January.

If you are interested in giving towards our remaining adoption costs, there are several ways for you to do so:

1. T-shirt fundraiser--Our t-shirts are $20 each, and we receive 50%.  This is a great way to donate because you get a "souvenir."  :)   We have a link on this blog that will give instructions on how to purchase a T-shirt.  The last day to order a T-shirt is November 30th. We will receive the T-shirts the first week of December and get them to everyone who orders one. 
2. Lifesong for Orphans--If you would like to donate and receive a tax deduction for your donation, then you can go to the Lifesong for Orphans website or send a check to them with our account information on it (Goldsmith #4762). We get 100% of what is donated through this organization, which is wonderful! Normally an organization will take a percentage for administrative costs. We have a link on this blog that will give instructions on how to donate through Lifesong for Orphans.

3. Give directly to us--If you would like to donate directly to us, you can make a check out to Joey or Jennifer Goldsmith. 

We will let everyone know when we have reached our fundraising goal.  We recently got our puzzle framed from our puzzle piece fundraiser and will be hanging it in our den so that anyone who visits our home can see it.  It's really amazing to look at that puzzle and see so many people who have invested in our family through this adoption.  We look forward to sharing that with our little man and telling him about this journey that brought him to his forever family. 

We plan to travel this weekend to meet our baby's birthmother. Please be in prayer for us about this. We are excited and nervous at the same time! We hope that we make a good connection with her and that our relationship with her will continue to grow.

We will soon be a family of 5! This continues to be an amazing journey. Our adoption process has been interesting and we have learned a lot through it. We plan to adopt again in a couple of years, and we will be better prepared and know more of what to expect next time. There really haven't been a lot of surprises so far. It's just an interesting path to walk. We are thankful to have so many friends and family walking right beside us. We can't wait to introduce Baby Boy Goldsmith to each of you! (We do have a name for our little guy, but we aren't sharing it until we know for sure that we are getting to bring him home with us.)

Thanks again for loving our family, encouraging us, and supporting us!  We appreciate it more than we can say!

3 Months and Counting Down...

We are waiting excitedly, preparing for, and looking forward to meeting our little boy in late January.  We plan to make a trip in November to meet our baby's birth mother.  Please pray for a good time of getting to know each other and of bonding.  

We found out we were matched with our little boy on September 29th.  Less than a month later, we are only $3,200 away from our fundraising goal of $20,000!  We have two grants coming in that total $11,000, we already had $4,000 from fundraising and our own funds, and over the last few weeks we have had friends and family donate $1,800.  So we are almost there, and we are so grateful for everyone who has gotten us to this point!  Our goal is to have the rest of the funds raised and turned into our adoption agency by December 1st, before the Christmas holidays hit and everything gets busy. 

We have several ways to give if you would like to contribute towards bringing home our little guy:

1. T-shirt fundraiser--Our t-shirts are $20 each, and we receive 50%. The Graphic Cow has been wonderful about helping us with this fundraiser. We are thankful for businesses like theirs who support adoption and assist couples in raising money to adopt. We have a link on this blog that will give instructions on how to purchase a T-shirt. The end date for this fundraiser is November 30th. We will receive the T-shirts the first week of December and get them to everyone who orders one. 
 
2. Lifesong for Orphans--If you would like to donate and receive a tax deduction for your donation, then you can go to the Lifesong for Orphans website or send a check to them with our account information on it (Goldsmith #4762). We get 100% of what is donated through this organization, which is wonderful! Normally an organization will take a percentage for administrative costs. We have a link on this blog that will give instructions on how to donate through Lifesong for Orphans.

3. Give directly to us--If you would like to donate directly to us, you can make a check out to Joey or Jennifer Goldsmith.

We will continue adding puzzle pieces to our adoption puzzle until all of the pieces have names on them.  We don't have too many left.  For every $10 donated, your name goes on a puzzle piece.  When it's completed, we will have it framed between two pieces of glass and hang it in our little guy's room.  It will be a wonderful way for him to see how many people helped to bring him home to us. :) 

If you have any questions about our adoption, please don't hesitate to ask.  We are careful with what we are sharing out of respect for our little boy's birth mother, but we will be glad to talk with you about the process, fundraising, or whatever else you might want to talk about. 

Please pray for us as we move forward these next few months.  We have had a great experience overall through this adoption process, but we have had one difficult situation that continues to sadden us and break our hearts.  We have one family member who opposes our adoption.  We pray that this person's heart will change, but as of today, we see only a hardened heart.  Please pray for God to soften this person's heart and show this person the beauty of adoption and how it portrays our adoption into God's family through Jesus Christ.  Please pray for us to be gracious and loving. 

Thank you again for your support through praying and giving.  It is an exciting time!  We will continue to keep everyone posted over the next few months. 

Adoption Puzzle

 

 

Above is a photo of what our adoption puzzle looks like as of today.  Thank you to those who have recently donated.  You now have puzzle pieces with your names on them.  It has been fun to see our puzzle take shape over the last 6 months.  We will share a photo of the finished product when it is complete. 

 

 



Wonderful News!

We have a placement!  We aren't going to give a lot of details out of respect for the birth mom and for privacy reasons, but our baby boy is due on January 23, 2015.  We have a name picked out, but we are not going to share it until the little guy is born and we know for sure that he is going home with us.   

Our adoption will cost a total of $20,000.  We have about $15,000 raised at this point so we still need to raise $5,000 more before our little guy is born.  Our goal is to have the remaining $5,000 raised by December 1st.  We have several ways to give toward our adoption for those who would like to.

1.  T-shirt fundraiser--We are bringing back our T-shirt fundraiser.  They are $20 each, and we receive 50%.  The Graphic Cow has been wonderful about helping us with this fundraiser.  We are thankful for businesses like theirs who support adoption and assist couples in raising money to adopt.  We have a link on this blog that will give instructions on how to purchase a T-shirt.  The end date for this fundraiser is November 30th.  We will receive the T-shirts the first week of December and get them to everyone who orders one. 

2.  Lifesong for Orphans--If you would like to donate and receive a tax deduction for your donation, then you can go to the Lifesong for Orphans website or send a check to them with our account information on it (Goldsmith #4762).  We get 100% of what is donated through this organization, which is wonderful!  Normally, an organization will take a percentage for administrative costs.  We have a link on this blog that will give instructions on how to donate through Lifesong for Orphans.

3.  Give directly to us--If you would like to donate directly to us, you can make a check out to Joey or Jennifer Goldsmith. 

Any donations made will be given puzzle pieces on our adoption puzzle.  Each piece is $10 so if a donation of $100 is made, then your name will be written on 10 pieces, $1000 donation would be 100 pieces, etc...  We want our little boy to know how many people helped get him home to us, and we think this puzzle is the perfect way to do that.  Once it is completed, we will have it framed between two pieces of glass and hang it in his bedroom. 

If you have any questions about our adoption and/or the process, we would be glad to talk with you one on one. 

We have been so amazed at how God has provided financially for our adoption.  We have had family and friends give generously as well as our church and a group of local businessmen.  We are thankful beyond what our words can express.  Thank you for loving us well! 

New Fundraising Opportunities

We have two new fundraising opportunities starting up.  The first one is thanks to Amanda Hopper.  She has graciously volunteered to do a Jamberry Nails fundraiser for us.  We will receive 15% of the sales.  The fundraiser begins on Monday, September 15th, at 12:00 a.m. and will end the following Monday, September 22nd, at 11:00 p.m.  If you have never tried Jamberry Nails, this is a great time to do it.  This is an online fundraiser and all orders will be mailed to you.  So no matter what state you live in, you can participate in this fundraiser.  If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  The website to place orders is  www.amandahopper.jamberrynails.com. 

The second fundraising opportunity is through Lifesong for Orphans.  We found out this week that we are approved to fundraise through this non-profit organization.  Donations are tax deductible and 100% of what you give will go towards our adoption.  They will not take any administrative fees out of the donations, which is amazing!  If you are interested in giving towards our adoption and getting a tax deduction, as well, please click on the link "Lifesong for Orphans Fundraising" on the home page of this blog to see how.  Basically, you will need to go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate.  Select "Give to an Adoptive Family."  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account Number" with #4762 and "Family Name" with Goldsmith.  You can also send a check directly to Lifesong for Orphans.  Make checks payable to "Lifesong for Orphans" and in the memo section, write "Goldsmith #4762" to assure that it goes to the correct account.  Please mail your donation to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  More information is given about Lifesong for Orphans and donating towards our adoption through them on the link mentioned above.

We are thankful and excited for these fundraising opportunities as we continue this adoption process!  Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who love us and encourage us through it. 

Where We Are Now

It's been a while since we updated everyone on where we are in the adoption process.  At this point, it is just a waiting game while we continue to try to raise the funds we need.  We have a couple of grants/loans that will give towards our adoption once we accept a placement.  We have had a couple of calls for placements, but due to our family circumstances or the circumstances of the children needing placement, we were not able to accept them.  Those have been difficult decisions, and we hope that we make the right decisions along the way in this process.  Once we accept a placement (and the birth family chooses us), we will then have a limited time to raise the additional funds we will need.  As of now, we have about $3,500 raised and will probably receive an additional $10,000 in the grants/loans mentioned above.  So we are looking at still needing to raise another $5,000 or so.  We still have our puzzle fundraiser going until it is completed.  We don't have any other fundraisers going at this time, but we are looking at options.  If you have any ideas, please let us know. We are open. :)

It's been a busy season with Jen starting a new career and life being busy like it normally is ith Claudia and Gus.  Jen could use prayers for her business to pick up quickly.  Being a loan officer and building your business takes time and patience.  Jen is ready to get going with it so please pray for encouragement and patience during this time.

We would love to have Baby Goldsmith before the end of 2014, but we will have to wait to see what God has in mind.  His timeline doesn't always match up with ours.  We thank you for your continued prayers and support!     

Below is a photo of Claudia and Gus wearing the T-shirts we had made for the fundraiser.  They turned out great!  Once we get a placement, we will probably sell them again in case there were people who did not get a chance to buy one.

T-Shirts and Puzzle Pieces

Our T-shirts for our adoption should be in early next week.  We were supposed to be able to pick them up this last Thursday, but they had a mix up in shipping so they are going to get here later than expected.  We will be contacting everyone who bought one to let you know we have them and to find a good time to get them to you.  Thanks again to all of those who bought a T-shirt.  We appreciate it!


Our puzzle piece fundraiser continues.  We had 92 pieces bought this last week so it is really coming along.   Below is a picture of the progress so far.  If you are wanting to buy a puzzle piece, they are $10 each.  There is a link to our YouCaring site on this blog where you can buy a puzzle piece through PayPal.  If you would like to pay for it a different way, please contact Joey or Jen. 


We are in a waiting stage in the adoption right now.  We could get a placement call at anytime and are hopeful we will have the funds ready when that happens.  We are hopeful to have Baby Goldsmith by the end of 2014. :)


Your continued prayers are appreciated.  We are so thankful for our friends and family!  We appreciate your support through this process.  It is encouraging to have so many coming alongside us.  We feel very loved. :)

T-Shirt Fundraiser, Home Study, and More

Our T-Shirt fundraiser is almost finished!  It will close tomorrow night at midnight.  We have had friends and family buy them, and we are very thankful.  The message on the T-Shirt (Blood is thicker than water, Love is thicker than blood) has special meaning for us since we have had one family member oppose our adoption because we plan to adopt transracially.  We think the message on the T-Shirt is a good reminder of the Gospel.  We are God's adopted children, and we are deeply loved by Him.  The same will be true for our adopted children.  We are excited to welcome them into our family and be their forever family when that time comes.  I used the word children because we plan to adopt now and then adopt again in a few years.  So our plan is for a total of 4 children...we will have a full house for sure. :) 

We received our home study in the mail last week.  So exciting! We are approved for one or two children under the age of 12 months.  If we were to have the opportunity to adopt twins, then we would seriously consider it.  We shall see what God has in store for us...

Since receiving our completed home study, we have applied for 5 different grants and will wait to hear if we get any of them.  A lot of the applications take at least 90 days to process so we have more waiting to do.  If we get a placement offer in the meantime, then we will try to figure out another way to come up with the remaining funds that we will need.  We are hoping to get a loan from the ABBA Fund for $5,000-$6,000.  If we get that, then we will still need about $8,000.  So we have a ways to go, but we are confident that God will provide what we need to bring Baby Goldsmith home when the time comes. 

Jen is trying to get her business going so that once Baby Goldsmith comes, she will be able to work from home for the first 6-8 weeks and then as needed after that.  Prayers would be appreciated!  This career change is exciting and will be good for us in the long run, but it has been difficult for us financially in the present because it takes time to build up the business through networking and word-of-mouth.  For those who don't know, Jen now has her license as a mortgage loan officer and is working for Hanover Mortgage.  So if you know of anyone who is looking to purchase or refinance a home, please send them her way.

Jen's parents and grandmother are coming to visit from Texas next week, and we are all excited and looking forward to that.  We haven't seen Jen's parents since Christmas (except through Skype) and Jen's grandmother since last summer so it will be wonderful to be with them again.  We will have Claudia all of next week so she and Gus will get some quality time with their Texas grandparents.

Thank you for your continued prayers through this adoption process!  We have a lot going on right now, and it can get overwhelming at times.  The encouragement and prayers we receive from our family and friends helps us so much!  And we are so thankful for the adoption community that we have in our church.  We have a lot of different people that we can go to when we have questions.  We have  been reading and researching adoption (specifically transracial adoption) so that we will be as prepared as possible to assist Baby Goldsmith in attaching to our family and growing up emotionally healthy in regards to being adopted and having two sets of parents (birth parents and us). 

Thanks again for your love and support!

We have had many people asking recently where we are in our adoption and how it is going.  So we thought it would be a good time for an update.  We have all of our paperwork completed and turned in for our home study.  We are waiting for our social worker to prepare the home study for us to review.  Once we review it, we will receive a copy of it.  There are several adoption grants that we plan to apply for, but they all require a completed home study.  So once ours is finished, we will be applying for those grants and hopefully will be approved for some of them.  The grant process takes 90 days so it is not quick at all.  The adoption process definitely helps us work on being patient and trusting in God's timing.  

Overall, the adoption process so far has been a positive experience.  The one discouragement that we have faced since we began the process is one family member who is completely opposed to what we are doing.  This has made us very sad, but it has not caused us to question our decision to adopt because we know that this is what we are supposed to do...it is what we feel we have been called to do.  It has been a part of our plan together since we were dating and a desire that we each have had for a long time before that.  We pray for a change of heart for this family member because this family member will be missing out on Baby Goldsmith when we get to bring he/she home and become his/her forever family.  Thankfully, the rest of our family and friends have been very supportive and encouraging as we journey through this long process.  We can't say enough how thankful we are for our family, friends, and church.  We have a wonderful, supportive community (in South Carolina and around the world). 

So that is where we are today in the adoption process.  Our adoption will cost anywhere from $12,000-$20,000, depending on if Baby Goldsmith is born in South Carolina or in another state.  We have raised about $4,000 so far.  Our hope is that in the next couple of months, we can get a majority of the money raised so that when we get a call about a possible placement, we can say yes.  Once our home study is completed, we could get a placement call at anytime. 

Thank you to all who have given towards our adoption and who are praying for us during this process. We are reading adoption books and preparing as much as we can for bringing Baby Goldsmith home when the time comes. We are excited and hopeful! 

We are continuing to do our puzzle fundraiser until all of the pieces are gone.  If you would like to buy a puzzle piece for $10, please go to youcaring.com/goldsmithadoption and click the "Give Now" link.  Please specify in the message that you are buying a puzzle piece(s). 

We also have our T-shirt fundraiser going on until July 31st.  Below are the directions if you would like to buy a T-shirt.

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER T-Shirt Sign-Up

Thank you for using The Graphic Cow T-Banker.

(1) Click Here to View Your T-Shirt Proof: http://www.thegraphiccowcompany.com/tgccproofs/507825.jpg

(2) Click Here for Payment Help: http://www.thegraphiccowcompany.com/t-shirtbanker/paypal_payment/

Copy and Paste this Sign-Up Roster Code when Requested: TH610201432720PM30

(3) Click Here to Sign-up and Pay: http://www.thegraphiccowcompany.com/t-shirtbanker/signup/

Note: If for any reason the Sign-up and Pay Link Does not Function Properly on your Computer,
Note: Copy and Past the Link into the Web Address Box Located on the Main Window Bar.

If you have any questions or need assistance, please contact: Amy at 800-472-3269 or by e-mail: amy@grafcow.com


Please Report any Discreptancies in Your T-Shirt Order within (2) Two Business Days To Your T-Shirt Chair: JENNIFER GOLDSMITH - jengoldsmith22@gmail.com.

The Graphic Cow can not be Responsible for Any Discreptancies Reported after (2) Two Business Days.

 

Puzzle Fundraiser Update

We had some friends give $130 towards our adoption last week so we were able to add 13 new pieces to our puzzle.  I have included a photo so that everyone can see where we are in the fundraiser.  Puzzle pieces are $10 each, and your name is written on the back of each piece that you purchase.  If you would like to buy a piece, please click on the YouCaring link on this blog.  

We are also selling T-shirts until July 31st.   They are $20 each.  Thank you to all who have bought one so far.  If you are interested in buying a T-shirt, there is a link on this blog with instructions on how to do so. 

We have everything turned in and completed for our home study.  We are now waiting for our social worker to finish the home study and give it to us to review.  Once that is finished, our home study will be complete.  At that point, we could get a call at anytime to be placed with future Baby Goldsmith.  When that call comes, we will need to have the majority of our adoption funds raised and available. 

Thank you to everyone who continues to encourage and support us through this adoption process. 

Yard Sale Success :)

Our yard sale was a huge success thanks to our wonderful friends and church family!  We had friends come help us sort and price all day on Friday.  Then we had friends come help us set things out at 6:30 on Saturday morning.  We had friends help during the yard sale, and friends who helped us pack up everything left over and get it over to Miracle Hill Saturday afternoon.  We are so thankful for everyone who helped!  We had more items donated than we knew what to do with, which is part of why our yard sale was so successful.  I didn't have much yard sale experience coming into this, but from what I learned, the more items you have at a yard sale, the better your odds are of having a successful one.  So thank you to everyone who donated!  We made almost $2,600 from the yard sale.  We split what we made with another family in our church that is adopting so were able to put $1,300 towards our adoption expenses.  This is a lot more than we expected, and we are so thankful! :) 

It is so encouraging and humbling to see our friends and family come along side us in this adoption process. Thank you!  We cannot say that enough!  We could not do this without you! 

Our T-shirt fundraiser continues until July 31st.  If you would like to buy a T-shirt, please click on the page link on this blog for instructions on how to do so.  We are excited about our T-shirt fundraiser! 

Also, we are still selling puzzle pieces for $10 until they are all gone.  Our puzzle is starting to take shape, but we still have plenty of pieces left.  If you would like to buy a puzzle piece, please click on our YouCaring link on this blog. 

We had our last home study visit on Saturday afternoon after our yard sale.  So we are almost finished!  Once our home study is completed, then we will be able to apply for a few grants.  We have raised about $3,700 so far, but we still have a long way to go.  Our adoption will cost anywhere from $12,000-$24,000 depending on what state our baby is born in.  We would appreciate prayers as we continue to raise money for our adoption. 

Thank you, again, for loving us well!